An indisputable truth about Black Folk......

I was sitting watching television the other night, and there seemed to be no lack of scary movies on. The Possession, The Last Exorcism, The Last Exorcism part 2, The Haunting of some chick, The Possession of another chick, and so on.  However, I did notice one glaring fact.... Black people are not possessed by demons or the Devil.  So, I had to sit and ask myself...why?


1.  Black folk are not not going to open the door to any possibility that something might come in.  That's just another mouth to feed and who ain't paying rent.  No way no how.  No Ouija boards, seances, holding hands in a circle chanting...nope.  Not happening.


2.  There is NO WAY we are EVER opening a book what looks like this.  Ever.  Ever ever.  If a book has a face on it and it looks like it will eat you?  No.  No translating any weird languages, reading anything that even remotely resembles being written in blood.... nope.  If the book is wrapped in chains and thrown at the bottom of the ocean, there is a reason for it.  If it's buried, it better stay buried.



3.  For those of us who like flea markets, yard sales, swap meets and the Glory that is Goodwill, we will shop until we drop.  But will we buy any sort of creepy looking box?  Or vessel?  Vase? Mirror?  NO.  There might possibly be some sort of evil spirit in said box.  Or bugs.  Or some other sort of creepy crawlie.  No.

4.  If some random voice comes out of your head speaking Latin, or singing children's nursery rhymes, or even worse, cursing someone out whilst your head is spinning around; you will quickly find yourself orphaned.  Like quickly.  Your family will put a For Sale sign in the front yard, turn the keys in to the building supervisor, or whatever else, but your tail will be left behind.  Far behind.  As in, the family reunion will come and go and you not only won't get invited, you won't get a t shirt.


5.  Dolls.  Nuf said.  I mean, do I really need to say anymore?  Barbie and her fast friend Chrissy is one thing.  Creepy dolls?  No.  They might come alive and eat you.  They might contain the souls of a thousand screaming children.  Or something else.  Keep all creepy dolls, puppets, dummies, (Willie Tyler and Lester are the only exception here, and that's because he looked like Carlton Banks), far, far, far, far, far away.  Don't leave me one in your will, try to pawn one off on me, or I will cut you.


6.  And last but certainly not least; 2 words.  Black Church.  Demons don't have time for church services that last all day.  And I mean all day.  Church that starts after breakfast, stops for lunch, and then keeps on going.  No time for that.  Nope.  They would get sick and tired of waiting.  Because you know folks have music.  And gotta eat.  So keep walking Devil.




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