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Showing posts from December, 2011

When I think of home...I think of a place...

I grew up in a very small town in the Midwest...the population wasn't even 100,000 people.  I was insulated from a lot of the things the "world" had...but I wouldn't trade it for anything.  Coming back home is always a double edged sword for me.  My ex husband and I are from same town, so driving through it always brings back bittersweet memories.  Now that my children are older, I can show them some of these things without pain.  I still am very angry at my ex, and I have a lot of animosity toward him for the father that he isn't, because he had the potential to be so much more; but I won't let that part of who he is now, taint the good memories that we had together.  I took my kids to see the 100 year old house I grew up in; and now the porch is different and painted a cheerful green, and it looks so much smaller than I remembered.  I remember swinging on the porch swing, looking for change for the ice cream man, and catching fireflies in the back yard.  I t

An open letter......this has been a long time coming

Dear X, This letter has been a long time coming.  It really has.  I remember when we met, when I was a young and naive girl of 20 still living at home, and you were 18.  It was infatuation at first sight, then it quickly turned to love.  I'll never forget the first time you said those three little words.  I know I was too young to understand that what we had wasn't based on what "forever" should be, but you can't argue that when you're young.  I should have had my first inkling that something was wrong when another girl came to my job the week after we were married, and showed me a poem...it was the exact same poem that you'd written for me.  But, I was young.  And I was in love.  Thank you for making me believe that through the first four years of our marriage, through all of the separations courtesy of the US Military, that you thought that we were going to grow old together.  Thank you for making the day I told you that I was pregnant with our daughte

You have to love projects these days.......

Back when I was in school (you know, when Jesus was a baby), when teachers assigned projects they were scaled for the student's ability to complete.  Most things consisted of looking up things in my parents' burgundy and gold copies of the Encyclopedia Britannica that we'd gotten from a door to door salesman, or actually havng to go to the Library (can you believe that, of all places?) and researching things.  We had to learn the Dewey Decimal System and how to use a card catalog.  Now?  Well, now things are COMPLETELY different.  My 11 year old son came home with a project on nuclear energy.  Ok, one would think you would have to make a model of a neutron, maybe write a report on how nuclear fission or fusion works, and some illustrations for extra credit.  Instead, we get things like "come up with 10 questions that you can get at least 15 people to answer about radioactive materials, and when you complile all of the responses, write a newspaper editorial detailing wh

I've had all I can stand...and I can't stands no more!

Just the other day, I was talking with one of the older nurses I work with about this generation and their "sense of entitlement".   I realized, that in our quest to give them "everything we didn't have", we may have created a society of monsters.  I remember, as a child, being a latchkey kid.  I knew that both of my parents worked full time, and there was a set of expectations that I had from them, that were unwavering.  I knew that I wasn't responsible for the cooking, but I knew that when my mom came home from work, that the house had better be picked up.  There was no allowance, no trips to the mall, no extras..unless they were earned.  In my days as a stay at home mother, I did everything for my kids.  I cleaned their rooms, put away their laundry, almost waited on them hand and foot.  I felt it was my "duty" as a stay at home mom, since I didn't work outside the home anymore.  When I divorced and went back to work, the "single mom gu