Incomplete....

A good friend of mine messaged me on Facebook with a link, and then immediately apologized because she didn't want me to feel offended.  I assured her, that on the contrary, I was far from it! She told me that she knew how hard I had worked to lose my weight and how long I'd been able to keep it off; and I looked at the link and decided to apply for the Hunstad Koretsis Emerging Hopes program. http://www.hkcenters.com/emerging-hopes/

It is no secret to anyone that I had bariatric surgery in 2007.  I was close to 300 pounds, had severely high cholesterol and obstructive sleep apnea.  I would get in my car at work in the Arboretum area of Charlotte and drive home, through South Carolina, and end up in my driveway with absolutely no memory of doing so.  I was that sleep deprived.  The surgery literally saved and changed my life.  I would do it again tomorrow, and I have zero regrets.

However, one of only biggest faults with the bariatric surgery process is the loose skin that is left behind.  No matter how hard you work, or what you do, sometimes that skin won't leave.  I am an independent distributor with It Works Global, and I absolutely love our products; especially our body wraps.  I've used them and will continue to do so as a tool to tighten, tone and firm my body.  I have wrapped my upper arms, my inner thighs, and my stomach and have gotten AMAZING results.  But there is one area on me that no matter what I do, or how hard I try, that makes me cringe every time I look in the mirror.  I feel like I've worked so hard for the past 9 1/2 years to keep the weight off, but I still feel "incomplete" somehow.  Like no matter how much weight I've lost, there are parts of me that still make me feel so sad.

I have probably 2-3 pounds of extra skin on both of my upper arms.  I was terrified to buy a strapless wedding dress because I couldn't bear looking at a beautiful bridal portrait with my huge arms sticking out.  I stand in pictures slightly to the side with my arms behind me as to not draw attention to them.  Every time I go to the doctor I get the look from the nurse and she says that "she has to go get the large cuff".  I can't wear scrub tops anymore because there isn't enough stretch and if I get them to fit my arms, they are way too big anywhere else.  I babysit, a LOT, and kids never ever mean to be cruel, but if I ever wear a short sleeved shirt or something sleeveless they invariably ask "Why are your arms so fat?".  It is an innocent question, but one that stings nonetheless.  One of my "minions" is a boy with special needs that loves the softness of my arms, and he strokes them every time I babysit and hug him.  I don't have the heart to show him that I cringe inside every time he touches me there in an attempt to comfort himself.

So, when the opportunity came to apply for this program, I jumped at the chance.  I asked myself, why not me?  I may not be picked, but I would always wonder "what if", had I not tried.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

The end result is worth the struggle, or how it feels to be on the verge of an empty nest.

Family FIRST, and life changing events...

It's more than just a robot-Part 2