The random misadventures of a (formerly)Single Super Mom

I grew up in a very small town in the Midwest...the population wasn't even 100,000 people.  I was insulated from a lot of the things the "world" had...but I wouldn't trade it for anything.  Coming back home is always a double edged sword for me.  My ex husband and I are from same town, so driving through it always brings back bittersweet memories.  Now that my children are older, I can show them some of these things without pain.  I still am very angry at my ex, and I have a lot of animosity toward him for the father that he isn't, because he had the potential to be so much more; but I won't let that part of who he is now, taint the good memories that we had together.  I took my kids to see the 100 year old house I grew up in; and now the porch is different and painted a cheerful green, and it looks so much smaller than I remembered.  I remember swinging on the porch swing, looking for change for the ice cream man, and catching fireflies in the back yard.  I t

Dear X, This letter has been a long time coming.  It really has.  I remember when we met, when I was a young and naive girl of 20 still living at home, and you were 18.  It was infatuation at first sight, then it quickly turned to love.  I'll never forget the first time you said those three little words.  I know I was too young to understand that what we had wasn't based on what "forever" should be, but you can't argue that when you're young.  I should have had my first inkling that something was wrong when another girl came to my job the week after we were married, and showed me a poem...it was the exact same poem that you'd written for me.  But, I was young.  And I was in love.  Thank you for making me believe that through the first four years of our marriage, through all of the separations courtesy of the US Military, that you thought that we were going to grow old together.  Thank you for making the day I told you that I was pregnant with our daughte

Back when I was in school (you know, when Jesus was a baby), when teachers assigned projects they were scaled for the student's ability to complete.  Most things consisted of looking up things in my parents' burgundy and gold copies of the Encyclopedia Britannica that we'd gotten from a door to door salesman, or actually havng to go to the Library (can you believe that, of all places?) and researching things.  We had to learn the Dewey Decimal System and how to use a card catalog.  Now?  Well, now things are COMPLETELY different.  My 11 year old son came home with a project on nuclear energy.  Ok, one would think you would have to make a model of a neutron, maybe write a report on how nuclear fission or fusion works, and some illustrations for extra credit.  Instead, we get things like "come up with 10 questions that you can get at least 15 people to answer about radioactive materials, and when you complile all of the responses, write a newspaper editorial detailing wh

Just the other day, I was talking with one of the older nurses I work with about this generation and their "sense of entitlement".   I realized, that in our quest to give them "everything we didn't have", we may have created a society of monsters.  I remember, as a child, being a latchkey kid.  I knew that both of my parents worked full time, and there was a set of expectations that I had from them, that were unwavering.  I knew that I wasn't responsible for the cooking, but I knew that when my mom came home from work, that the house had better be picked up.  There was no allowance, no trips to the mall, no extras..unless they were earned.  In my days as a stay at home mother, I did everything for my kids.  I cleaned their rooms, put away their laundry, almost waited on them hand and foot.  I felt it was my "duty" as a stay at home mom, since I didn't work outside the home anymore.  When I divorced and went back to work, the "single mom gu

Here it is, that time again, where we over indulge on not only food, but other things.  Black Friday used to be a traditional time to plan your "attack route" the days before, grab a couple of girlfriends to be line holders, and attempt to score the very best deals out there for Christmas.  The stores used to open around 5 am, giving you ample time to sleep off the gluttony of the night before, and then try to get the strongest coffee you could get your hands on before standing in line.  Now, stores are open earlier and earlier, with some of them not even closing on Thanksgiving day anymore.  Being a single mother, money is always at a minimum.  We are constantly looking for ways to save money, cutting coupons, bartering, doing online surveys, finding focus groups...you name it.  This year, however, there really wasn't any "one big thing" that would sway me out of my warm bed....standing in line behind hundreds of other hopefuls, trying to get the coveted item. 

When I was growing up, I used to love hanging out in the kitchen with my mom.  I learned how to cook by watching her create things...and my parents were very adventurous eaters.  I grew up very poor, and we had to "make do with what we got" for a lot of meals.  We picked dandelion greens from the big field near our apartment, and mom would cook them with onions and whatever else we had on hand.  Mama would make a big pot of rice for dinner at night, and the next morning we'd have rice with milk, butter, and cereal for breakfast.  We never knew we were poor, all we knew is that we never went hungry.  My parents fed us stuff like monkfish, polenta, and we'd go to the Calumet Fisheries in Chicago and have little cartons of fried smelt.  We also had the more traditional beans and rice, collard greens and corn bread.  However we did NOT have a lot of the things that some people take for granted!  I never had a pork chop until I was married to my ex husband.  I never tried

My son was always the "young" one.  He made the cutoff to start kindergarten by about 2 weeks.  I considered holding him out, or "redshirting" him, but life got in the way.  I got the news that my then husband wanted  a divorce, and I needed to get a job.  My days as a stay at home mom were over.  I wouldn't have traded them for the world.  He started to struggle in school in first grade.  I attributed it to him being "immature".  By third grade, his self esteem had started to suffer.  My daughter is one of those "natural learners".  Things come so easily to her.  She was that straight A student without even trying.  I'd get so heartbroken when he'd come home and I'd ask him how he did on a spelling test, or a math test; and he'd get this huge grin on his face and tell me "I think I did good this time mom!".  And invariably, the test would come back with less than stellar results.  Report card days were the worst. 

I spent a weekend under the weather, undoubtedly from spreading myself too thin, and decided to rent some movies to watch during my enforced quarantine.  One of them was "Something Borrowed" with Ginnifer Goodwin and Kate Hudson.  As I sat here with my daughter and watched it, it reminded me of friendships past, and how they affect us.  I think that everyone has had "that friend".  That friend that only calls when they want you to give them advice.  Only contacts you when they have a problem.  Doesn't ever check on you to find out how you're doing, but wants you always to know how they're doing.  Where every story you tell, they have one that is just that much better, or more interesting, or more heart-wrenching.  Those are the friends that drain you...that you always wonder why you're friends with them in the first place.  But something in them keeps you coming back.  Some part of the relationship, exhausting as it is, makes you treasure it.  Then

I rarely give in to the urge to whine.  Really, I don't.  But today, I feel like I need to whine.  Not wine mind you, whine.  Being a single parent, there isn't anyone you can just pass the buck to.  Nobody that will just pick up when you can't.  If you're sick?  You still have to do your everyday things.  If you're tired?  Nobody to come and tell you to take a break; they'll take over.  I sit and look at the laundry that needs to be done.  The vacuuming.  The roll of toilet paper the dog decided to tear up.  The kitchen that needs to be cleaned.  The bathroom where my son continually misses the toilet.  I'm exhausted.  Physically and emotionally. I feel the beginnings of a cold coming on.  But, can I stop?  No.  I have to get up in the morning and take the kids to school.  Go to work.  Come home and be mom.  For once, just once....I'd like to be able to say...can you do it?  Can you take the kids?  Can you fold that load of laundry?  Can you fix din

I've noticed something more and more lately; and I'm wondering if it's a sign of the times.  I look on facebook sites of my daughter and her peers, and sites like twitter and tumblr, and I find that certain words that I grew up with, have seem to have lost their power.  Words like "fag*ot", "nig*a" and others, are used without any regard for the offense factor.  In fact, those words don't seem to offend anyone in this generation.  With the rise in popularity of artists like Lil' Wayne, Jay Z, and Kanye West, the words that I always felt were meant to demean, belittle, and isolate a certain portion of the population from others are said without batting an eye....  Calling someone a "fag" or a "n" word was tantamount to a declaration of war.  It's amazing how pervasive the words have woven their way into our society.  Stand up comics, cutting edge cartoons, and popular music seem to have made these words less taboo than ever

Friday was my 40th birthday.  I remember, when I was younger, thinking that 40 was so...old.  40 meant your life was half over...it was all downhill from there.  Then, my mother had a baby at 40.  I had to reassess how "old" 40 was.   I'll never forget the day she told me she was having another baby...I'd just graduated from high school...and I thought...HOLY CRAP...(first the fact that my parents still made biscuits..and secondly the fact that I thought there was no way in hell that they should be making me another sibling...)...but then this amazing person came along and I can't imagine my life without her... So 40 changed..into something not so old...but still not young....I hit 30 soon after having my second child...and then the slide towards 40 began.   My 30's were filled with the most emotional periods of my life.  The discovery that my marriage was ending...no matter what I tried to do, I couldn't save it.  Moving to a new city...having my sister

School is back in session for most of our kids...and the stress level that goes along with it has returned.  Even though summer time had most of us chomping at the bit for our kids to get the hell back to school because they were driving us CRAZY and eating us out of house and home... Now we have to deal with bus delays, car rider lines, school excuse notes (because the good old days of just being able to call the school and let them know your child was sick are over), forms, forms, and more forms.  Forms to try out for a sport, even if you don't make it. Forms to carry a tylenol in your pocket, forms for everything under the sun.  And when, like me, you work at a pediatrician's office...everyone needs their form RIGHT NOW.  Packing lunches, buying school lunches, does your kid qualify for reduced price lunches?  If they do, it's so much cheaper for them to eat at school...but is it healthier?  Navigating all of the choices can be like trying to get gum off of the botto

I got some news this week that questions everything that I thought I knew about certain things.  Sometimes we kick ourselves for feeling like we should have known something, should have done something, should have seen something.  It's not always our fault, but that doesn't make it any easier.  All I can say is that you need to hold your children tight, tell them that you love them, always be there for them, and believe in them.  Make sure that they know that you will always be there when they need you, and to never be afraid to tell you anything, no matter how big or how small......

Remember when you were little?  And your fears were so much more "real" than they are now?  Fear when you're a child is a totally different type of fear than when you're a grown up.  When you're little you fear the dark, the monsters under the bed, the bogeyman.....When you're an adult, especially once you become a parent, your fears change and modify themselves to fit your lifestyle.  Your greatest fear becomes something happening to your children.  No parent wants to outlive their kids.  With my children beginning new chapters in their lives soon, my worries are magnifying.  Jordyn will be in High School this year, and Jarrod will be in middle school.  Is she going to have trouble with boys?  Will she fall in with the wrong crowd?  When she starts riding with friends who drive will they be safe?  When she starts driving will she be safe?  Will Jarrod transition well into middle school?  Will he lose the awkwardness yet keep the sweetness he has?  When he fin

As I sat here tonight watching the show "So You Think You Can Dance", one of the routines on there literally brought tears to my eyes.  Some things that you see, read, or hear strike such a resonant chord in your emotions that you cannot keep them inside.  Some of them make me feel some emotions so deeply that I don't even have to hear/see them; just recall them; and my eyes fill with tears.  One of them is the opening 15 minutes of the movie, "An Eye for An Eye", the one with Sally Field and Kiefer Sutherland.  The scene where her daughter is getting brutalized and murdered while screaming for her mother on the phone, and her mother having to hear that, literally tore me to pieces.  I had anxiety attacks for days after watching that.  To this day, I cannot watch that movie.  Another thing is the song "Imagine Me" by Kirk Franklin.  The lyrics are all about how someone who has so many perceived flaws, can't imagine how God or anyone else can love

We all dream of "winning it big".  We all fantasize of what we would do with an insane amount of money.  However, could most of us handle the pressures of what comes along with that financial windfall?  Having a mother that is a financial planner, I have carefully planned out my strategy should I win it big.  I think, right now, the big jackpot in our area is close to 150 million dollars.  I'd take the lump sum payment which right there takes about half the money.  But before I did that, I'd go straight to an attorney's office.  I'd show him a photocopy (not the original mind you) of the winning ticket and instruct him to immediately set up a trust for me.  The trust, not me, would claim the money.  That way, when people use the power of the internet to search for the big winner, I won't have people climbing out of the woodwork to say that they were my best friend in 1978, or they're my uncle's cousin's sister's nephew.  I could also keep i

This week, the younger sister of a very good friend committed suicide.  She left behind a 4 year old child.  Suicide is the one thing that I think is the most selfish act that anyone can do.  The decision to take your own life, while having no regard for those you leave behind, is something that I cannot comprehend.  I say that because I've been that person.  I had to take Paxil to get up in the morning.  Xanax to get through the day.  Ambien to shut my thoughts down so that I could sleep at night.  I was a shell.  I put on the ultimate facade; the porcelain face that I presented to the world was one of constant happiness.  Inside, however, I was dying.  I was in a marriage to someone who didn't want me, who belittled me, and made me feel like I was worthless.  I was overweight, and every time I looked in the mirror I didn't see any of the "good", all I saw was the bad.  No positives, only negatives.  Every single part of me had a flaw.  None of my friends would e

I was watching the Lifetime (dramatized)Autobiography of Harry Potter author J.K. Rowling and it struck me, that she has the most bittersweet revenge ever of a single mom.  Here is a woman who was on welfare, receiving 69 pounds (not sure what that is in American dollars, but it CAN'T be much) a week from the government.  Now, years later, she sits in the enviable position of being worth more than the Queen of England.  She's remarried, and has another child.  Here is a woman who's ex husband, a deadbeat dad, is kicking his own ass every day for walking out on her.  President Barack Obama is another.  Raised by a single mother, absent father, yet look at what he's become.  In homage to my post yesterday, another success story is Justin Bieber.  Teenage mother, no involvement from his father, and then look at him now.  What is it with these men who can walk away from their responsibilities without a backward glance?  How can you look at the most precious resource we ha

Ok.  I'll be the first to admit that I don't "get" Justin Bieber.  He's cute, yes.  Talented? Yes.  However, he's a marketing juggernaut.  I'm sure that there are a thousand other kids out there in America that are as equally talented.  They just didn't push it as hard.  And we all know that 95% of fame is marketing.  How else would half of the Billboard Top 100 have jobs?  As I'm sitting here with ruptured eardrums from the screams of 2 teenage girls, I'm shaking my head at the depth of their complete and utter fascination and obsession with J-Beebs.  I'm drinking copious amounts of a good Moscato, in order to just deal with the manic behavior that I'm seeing exhibited while they are watching "Never Say Never".  I remember being 14.  Honestly I do!  I was 14 in 1985.  Michael Jackson was at the PEAK of his popularity.  Prince was on the charts.  Madonna was hot.  I remember looking at news footage of Michael Jackson around

Seriously.  Is there ANYTHING in the world like that new car smell?  I remember purchasing my first new car.  Honestly, I was 36 years old.  Yep.  That old.  I'd "had" new cars before...but never my own.  My ex husband had always had the income, so he was the owner, and I just was primary on the insurance becuase it was cheaper.  (Go figure).  In 2007, I bought my first new...heck...my first EVER car.  It was a Honda Pilot.  The Silver Bullet.  I loved that car.  It was  mom-mobile, but not a minivan.  It had that "cool factor" that the party van lacked.  However, in this great city of Charlotte, NC....silver must be an invisible color.  Not once, not twice, but 3 times I was rear ended in the Silver Bullet.  I was considering getting one of those stickers that they put on the back end of mail trucks...."This Vehicle Makes Frequent Stops"....Seriously.  Then I got a rental car.  I haven't driven a car in almost 13 years.  I went from mommy van, to

Time is one of those things you can't put a value on.  There never seems to be enough time in the day, especially when you have things to do.  However, when you're at loose ends, or bored, or waiting on someone else....that same amount of time seems to drag interminably.  When you have 2 jobs, 2 kids, and still have to take on extra to make ends meet; time definitely is a luxury.  When I find myself bemoaning the lack of time I seem to have, I just take a step back and think about the people who literally have no time.  I'm thankful that I do have the time to enjoy life.  To spend with friends and family.  To give other people time to spend with their loved ones, knowing that the children that they leave in my care are well loved and protected.  I try to make the time every day to read.  Time to listen to a new song.  Time to take a walk with the dog.  Time to connect with a friend. I think everyone needs to give themselves a little more time.....

When I was in college I had grandiose dreams of writing the next great novel.  I had the entire plot mapped out in my head; and pictured myself on book signings; talk shows, and posing tastefully for my bookjacket picture.  When I read the first Harry Potter book, I'll admit that I'd had no idea what the fuss was all about.  I didn't read the first book until I was pregnant with my son; in the year 2000.  I was taking college classes at an adult studies program, and someone mentioned the "phenomenon" that was Harry Potter to me.  I, of course, being a bit of a literary snob, was prepared to be underwhelmed by the fictional tale of a boy wizard.  I was completely unprepared for how quickly I was to be sucked into the magical world of Hogwarts, the young survior Harry Potter, his annoyingly smart friend Hermoine, and the gangly and awkward Ron.  I devoured the first book in record time; and quickly had to procure the next two.  I couldn't believe how quickly I b

Ok, meeting boys isn't like it was 25 years ago.  No walking around the mall with your friends, giggling behind hands as you follow a group of cute guys, hoping one of them will ask his friend to ask your friend to ask you out.  No note passing, getting set up on a blind date with friends, or having your parents try to hook you up with kids of their friends.  No, now it's all about the internets.  Dating sites such as Match.com, Eharmony, and others tempt you with the promise of finding the "perfect" mate.  Just plug in your criteria in a man, write a suitably witty profile, and just wait for the man of your dreams to walk in to your laptop and sweep you off of your virtual feet.  They just don't tell you that, if you want any chance at all at returning a wink, replying to an email, or getting to the "nitty gritty" about a potential match, you have to be willing to part with the low low price of 30.00 American dollars a month. (although using the Lego bl

Do you ever think about that one food that would just basically ruin your life if you had to give it up?  Yeah.  That's it.  Diet coke...cake...cookies.....giving up those would hardly be a blip on my culinary radar.  Bacon however?  My life would pretty much be over.  I'm talking adrift on a desert island with no hope of rescue over.  I had gastric lap band surgery 4 years ago, and have lost close to 115 lbs.  My body doesn't look like anything I ever remember seeing in my life.  (I can see my collarbones.  I didn't even know I HAD collarbones) I've had to give up so many foods and things that most people take for granted.  I don't drink soda.  I haven't had one since December of 2006.  I rarely eat bread, or pasta, or red meat.  If I eat too fast, it hurts.  Sometimes, as long as I'm hydrated, I'll actually forget to eat.  However, I'll never desert bacon.  I seriously love bacon.  Thick cut, thin cut, ends, pieces, salt pork, pork jowl....pret

Most parents don't remember what life was like before we became so.  The hectic schedules, the noise, the chaos, and the wondering of when you'd get a moment's peace have permeated our every being.  None of us, however, would change it for the world.  Becoming a parent is TRULY the most selfish thing you can ever do. No child asks to be born, we decide that for them.  We decide how many to have, what environment to bring them into, what to name them, and we shape their futures.  As I sit here, in blessed silence, after a long week with my children that was filled with jokes, bickering, and the always present "Shut up Jordyn, no-one likes you" from my son; I think of what that silence would mean if they weren't around anymore.  With the recent events of the Casey Anthony trial, I know, that as a single mother, I value my "alone" time.  I value my "adult" time.  I love my time with friends where I don't have to censor my language, where I

Finally back home from a much needed vacation at the beach!  I got to see some old friends, and realized that even though time and distance are factors, true friendships don't fade.  Some of these people I haven't seen in almost 10 years; and it seemed like it was yesterday that we were hanging out together, having fun, sharing our dreams, our problems, and our triumphs.  I swam in the surf, hung out on the sand, ate some amazing food, and spent some quality time with my children.  The memories that we make can't be measured in dollars and cents, but with the incomparable currency that will stand the test of time.  We came back home with tan lines, a bag of random shells, lots of pictures, and the reminder that no matter what, we have a place to go whenever we need to get away. 

You know when you watch a scary movie, right?  And someone goes to the basement stairs; flicks the lights; and they don't work?  And then they go downstairs ANYWAY.  You KNOW they are gonna DIE.  It's like fire is hot, water is wet, go down in the basement with no lights and you're going to get ate.  There are certain people in your life, that no matter how hard you try to give them the benefit of the doubt, they will never change.  They will never not disappoint you.  They will never do the right thing.  They will never think of consequences or repercussions.  Yet somehow they do something that gives them a glimmer of humanity and you think, "wow, maybe they're human after all!".  And invariably....the other shoe drops.  And you kick yourself for even believing for one second that a leopard can change it's spots.  We want to trust people, I think it's part of our nature.  Especially people that we come into contact with on a regular basis.  But there

Sometimes, you're just tired.  Worn out.  Exhausted.  Emotionally and physically.  Worried about how to pay this bill and that bill being one person.  Thinking that it would be great to be able to sleep in one Sunday, or take the kids to brunch, without having to get up and be at work at 815 am.  Entertaining thoughts of "found money" or the Publisher's Clearing House prize patrol showing up at your door.  Fantasizing about not having to be everything to everyone, and just be able to take your worries, your doubts, your fears; and lay them at someone else's feet for once.  I can't deny that it would be really nice to have another pair of shoulders to carry my burdens, but then I realize that even though I'm just me, I've been given an incredible gift.  Through my journey to get to the destination I am now, I've learned so much about myself, my family, my friends, and my faith.  I realized that no matter how bad my day is, I will be able to survive

Every day I look at my daughter Jordyn and see how much she's grown over the last few years.  Her likes, dislikes, attitude (in spades :-)), and friends have undergone this crazy metamorphosis since she started school.  Her days used to be spent playing Barbies and Bratz, and now they're spent on Facebook and Skype.  How did childhood change so much?  How did we move from a society of "toys" that took imagination to play with, to a society of toys that require ZERO imagination?  She and her friends will literally sit on their laptops right next to each other, typing conversations, updating statuses, creeping on profiles....and their conversations are peppered with a new kind of shorthand language...LMFAO, SMH, FML...just to name a few.  I consider myself "hip" and up on what's going on, but I've had to go to the old urbandictionary.com and look up a few of these, as to not appear COMPLETELY lost.  These girls are wrapped up in things like who has mor

Wow.  Sitting at a stoplight and all you hear is the crash of metal and feel the shudder of your car experiencing an impact that you had no idea was coming.  That's the feeling of being rear ended!  Hopefully the insurance company of the at fault driver (that NOT being me) will help get things all set! In other news....Being a single mom has its own sets of challenges.  One of them being a single working mom; and how to get grocery shopping done and spend as little money as possible!  One of the best tips I can give is to, if you have a local one, shop at Aldi.  Aldi is owned by the same "parent company" as Trader Joe's, and they have amazing deals on a lot of your non perishable goods, IQF (individually quick frozen) meats, and fresh produce.  Things like frozen chicken breasts, soups, sugar, spices, etc. are amazingly cheap at Aldi.  Also, most grocery stores change their ads on Wednesday.  They also have their circulars online, with an online grocery list.  G

Father's day takes on a special significance when you are a single mother.  Coming from a family that had such a strong father figure, it almost feels like you are somewhat of a failure when Father's day comes around...especially when there is a disconnect with the father of your children.  My kids love their dad, but they don't have nearly the strong bond with their father that I did with mine.   There will be days, sometimes more than a week that goes by with no contact between them.  He doesn't seem to know anything about their lives, their likes, or their loves. I look at my daughter and I see sometimes how closed off and cold she has become.  I look at my son and wonder when he'll be more independent, and less clingy..and I wonder, if they had grown up in an intact home, would that be the case?  We raise our daughters to be strong, fierce, and independent; and our sons to be gentlemen...but do we raise our son's to be fathers?  To be there? To be loyal, t

Well, at least a story of mine has been......I submitted a story for a book called "Beyond the Diaper Bag" and it was included!  All sales  from the book benefit The Mommies Network; a non profit network of support sites across the US for Moms!   http://www.facebook.com/BeyondtheDiaperBag?sk=info

So, my friend Nikki posts on FB about her experience with a box of crackers today.  She had this box of crackers she was DYING to try with Hummus......a new box of crackers mind you..... She opens up the box and swats away a moth.  Well, it wasn't a random moth.....A WHOLE FREAKING FLOCK OF  MOTHS flies out of the box!!!! (Are multiple moths a flock?) All I can think of is WHAT IN THE NAME OF BOB EVANS would I do if a flock of moths flew out of a box of crackers at me??  Probably curse like a sailor while stomping around looking for the 800 number on the side of the box.... Yep.  That's it.  And hopefully the sap that answered said 800 number won't send the FBI after me for making threats.....

So I got sucked into watching one of those Extreme Couponing shows.  Now, I'm all for clipping coupons; but you will NEVER see me stealing papers from abandoned homes, diving in dumpsters, or storing food in my kids' rooms because I don't have enough room for my stockpile.  All of my friends who've been to my home can safely say, with the exception of fresh produce, bread, and milk...if there is a blizzard they're coming to stay with me......however....I think  I "probably" have enough food to get by for 30 days (and that's being VERY creative) without grocery shopping.  I LOVE the grocery store.  Seriously.  I would grocery shop for money for other people.  Like I would make it a part time job.  Give me your grocery list; I'll clip your coupons for you and buy them; and throw in recipe ideas while I'm at it.  But you won't see me storing 11245 bottles of mustard, buying diapers and I have no child, or cat litter and not owning a cat.

As I'm sitting here watching Lady Gaga on HBO I'm struck by how much popular culture has changed..yet stayed the same.  Madonna did things for shock value..and so does Gaga.....but I think we've been more desensitized.....