The only thing you have to fear......

Remember when you were little?  And your fears were so much more "real" than they are now?  Fear when you're a child is a totally different type of fear than when you're a grown up.  When you're little you fear the dark, the monsters under the bed, the bogeyman.....When you're an adult, especially once you become a parent, your fears change and modify themselves to fit your lifestyle.  Your greatest fear becomes something happening to your children.  No parent wants to outlive their kids.  With my children beginning new chapters in their lives soon, my worries are magnifying.  Jordyn will be in High School this year, and Jarrod will be in middle school.  Is she going to have trouble with boys?  Will she fall in with the wrong crowd?  When she starts riding with friends who drive will they be safe?  When she starts driving will she be safe?  Will Jarrod transition well into middle school?  Will he lose the awkwardness yet keep the sweetness he has?  When he finds a girl that he likes will she break his heart? (and then I'll have to hunt her down and scalp her, I'm just sayin')  All of these fears and anxieties are rolling through my brain.....I fear something happening to them that I cannot control, yet I know that I have to give him the freedom that we all had to live their lives.  The freedom to make mistakes...the freedom to learn...the freedom to grow.  Yet all I want to do is wrap them in bubble wrap and keep them in my pocket so that they're protected. 

As the countdown to school and a new chapter in my children's lives begins....I guess I need to call my doctor for a refill on my Xanax so that I can handle all of the changes.....but then I think about how amazing my kids are and that I must have done SOMETHING right....despite my best efforts.... :-)

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