Mental Health struggles are not meant to be shameful
I looked on my Facebook memories this week, and last year I was at the funeral of the son of a friend of mine. It was one of the most unorthodox yet hopeful services I've ever attended. My friend's son had a long struggle with mental illness and took his own life. No matter how hard people tried to help him, it just wasn't enough to conquer his demons. He left a hole behind that will never be filled, and I struggle every day to make sense of the deaths of so many like him. I have 2 friends, both with sons that had the same first name, both boys took their own lives within 6 months of each other, and both boys struggled so hard against the demons that ultimately won.
My daughter came home yesterday and she has been struggling lately with her mental health. The world is a much more difficult one than I grew up with, and while the challenges are similar, the world itself is so different. We are bombarded with images left and right of how horrible things are, how hopeless things seem to be, and how hard it is to fix anything. I don't think I ever felt the level of despair that so many children and young adults feel now. I don't ever recall being a teenager or even a young adult and feeling like life would NEVER get better. Like there is nothing to look forward until death. Like retirement is a joke. And we have an entire generation of youth that feel that way. They are becoming more and more isolated from each other. Afraid of reaching out to someone for fear of being ridiculed. Bullying went from purely physical, to psychological and so insidious we now have children as young as 9 years old taking their own lives to escape the pain.
How did we GET here? How is Suicide the second leading cause of death among middle and high school students? What is going on? Children and adults are more "connected" with each other than ever before, yet there is a bigger chasm than there ever has been. One of the highlights of my entire day is when my children and I have face to face discussions about what is going on in their lives. I like to SEE their expressions when they tell me about their days. I like to HEAR what they have to say. Not just in a text, I want to hug them, and tell them I love them in person. I want to see my family, and my friends...not just on social media.
When you hear that someone has cancer, the community and their friends and family rally around them. They offer to cook meals, help out with transportation, help clean the house and take care of the kids. But when you hear that someone has PTSD, Anxiety, or BPD? Where is the help then? Where is the offer to ease the burdens of those people? Those illnesses are JUST as real as anything else, and can be more deadly. There are serious barriers to mental health treatment in this country, and people are so ostracized and embarrassed that they choose to hide from the world what they're going through. Postpartum Depression is "baby blues". People are told "just get over it", but what if you can't?
I'll never in my life forget one of the patients I had when I was working at a pediatric practice years ago. Her father was worried that he would harm himself so he went to the emergency room where they gave him a prescription for an antidepressant and sent him on his way. Later that week, he killed his wife and his toddler son, telling the little girl not to say anything, and she went to school for almost an entire week with the bodies of her stepmother and brother in the home. After extended family called for a welfare check, the father killed himself when confronted by police. Mental health services in this country are woefully lacking, and we will treat every disease imaginable better than we will mental health DISEASES. Yes. Diseases. They are a part of your brain. They affect your everyday life. They affect your interpersonal relationships and your job. They can cause your death.
Today is World Mental Health Day and I suffer from ADD, OCD and mild anxiety. People I love suffer from BPD, PTSD, Anxiety and Depression. I took antidepressant medication for years. I scared myself because my thoughts were so dark that I knew that I needed help. I reached out and thankfully someone was there to listen. I have been to therapy. I still take medication every day to control the symptoms of my illness and help me function every day. I didn't make this up. I'm not faking. Do something nice for someone today. If you know someone that's struggling? Reach out to them. Just sending a text to someone letting them know that you're thinking about them can make all the difference in the world. Say something kind to a stranger. It might make their entire day. If you are struggling and need someone to talk to, or if you have a friend or loved one you're worried about? Reach out. The National Suicide Prevention Line is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/talk-to-someone-now/ And above all, be kind. That person that was a grouch to you at the grocery store? Or that coworker that seems to be in a bad mood? They may be fighting a battle you know nothing about.
My daughter came home yesterday and she has been struggling lately with her mental health. The world is a much more difficult one than I grew up with, and while the challenges are similar, the world itself is so different. We are bombarded with images left and right of how horrible things are, how hopeless things seem to be, and how hard it is to fix anything. I don't think I ever felt the level of despair that so many children and young adults feel now. I don't ever recall being a teenager or even a young adult and feeling like life would NEVER get better. Like there is nothing to look forward until death. Like retirement is a joke. And we have an entire generation of youth that feel that way. They are becoming more and more isolated from each other. Afraid of reaching out to someone for fear of being ridiculed. Bullying went from purely physical, to psychological and so insidious we now have children as young as 9 years old taking their own lives to escape the pain.
How did we GET here? How is Suicide the second leading cause of death among middle and high school students? What is going on? Children and adults are more "connected" with each other than ever before, yet there is a bigger chasm than there ever has been. One of the highlights of my entire day is when my children and I have face to face discussions about what is going on in their lives. I like to SEE their expressions when they tell me about their days. I like to HEAR what they have to say. Not just in a text, I want to hug them, and tell them I love them in person. I want to see my family, and my friends...not just on social media.
When you hear that someone has cancer, the community and their friends and family rally around them. They offer to cook meals, help out with transportation, help clean the house and take care of the kids. But when you hear that someone has PTSD, Anxiety, or BPD? Where is the help then? Where is the offer to ease the burdens of those people? Those illnesses are JUST as real as anything else, and can be more deadly. There are serious barriers to mental health treatment in this country, and people are so ostracized and embarrassed that they choose to hide from the world what they're going through. Postpartum Depression is "baby blues". People are told "just get over it", but what if you can't?
I'll never in my life forget one of the patients I had when I was working at a pediatric practice years ago. Her father was worried that he would harm himself so he went to the emergency room where they gave him a prescription for an antidepressant and sent him on his way. Later that week, he killed his wife and his toddler son, telling the little girl not to say anything, and she went to school for almost an entire week with the bodies of her stepmother and brother in the home. After extended family called for a welfare check, the father killed himself when confronted by police. Mental health services in this country are woefully lacking, and we will treat every disease imaginable better than we will mental health DISEASES. Yes. Diseases. They are a part of your brain. They affect your everyday life. They affect your interpersonal relationships and your job. They can cause your death.
Today is World Mental Health Day and I suffer from ADD, OCD and mild anxiety. People I love suffer from BPD, PTSD, Anxiety and Depression. I took antidepressant medication for years. I scared myself because my thoughts were so dark that I knew that I needed help. I reached out and thankfully someone was there to listen. I have been to therapy. I still take medication every day to control the symptoms of my illness and help me function every day. I didn't make this up. I'm not faking. Do something nice for someone today. If you know someone that's struggling? Reach out to them. Just sending a text to someone letting them know that you're thinking about them can make all the difference in the world. Say something kind to a stranger. It might make their entire day. If you are struggling and need someone to talk to, or if you have a friend or loved one you're worried about? Reach out. The National Suicide Prevention Line is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/talk-to-someone-now/ And above all, be kind. That person that was a grouch to you at the grocery store? Or that coworker that seems to be in a bad mood? They may be fighting a battle you know nothing about.
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