The scariest movies of all time....?
Scary movies are a very subjective topic. Some things scare the crap out of people, while others find the same fare so tame as to be snore-worthy. I LOVE scary movies. I love the feeling of adrenaline that comes when you know something bad is about to happen. I love that sick feeling in the pit of my stomach that comes with the anticipation of terror and mayhem. Scary movies (well, and superhero movies but that's another topic) are probably my favorite genre of movie.
Scary movies done right make me happy. Scary movies done wrong piss me off. For example. Last night we watched this crazy movie called Blood Night, the legend of Mary Hatchet or some such. Starts out with a 12 year old kid pulling a Lizzie Borden on her mom and dad. She then gets sent to a mental institution where she is assaulted years later by one of the guards, becomes pregnant, and is told her baby died at birth. Somehow in all of this, she manages to get free and decimate the entire staff of the looney bin. Really? So. You're telling me some random chick can buzz through an entire mental hospital breaking necks with her bare hands and leaving no soul alive? Ok.... right then. It's the stuff that is SO completely not going to happen but they try to make it believable that makes me mad. Michael Myers? Freddie Krueger? Jason? We all know those dudes are so not real, and there was no attempt to make them real. We all know that there is no way you will survive a chainsaw to the head and live to kill another day. Blair Witch? Made me sick to my stomach. Paranormal Activity? I'm all for ghosts and stuff, but come on now. Saw? The first one was DAMN!! After that...well, I was kind of rooting for the bad guy. Scream? The first one was pretty damn scary.
I like scary movies that make me think. Ones that could conceivably happen. Ones that make you leap out of your seat with the "Oh HELL NO" that comes from shock and awe. Those movies. Unfortunately they are few and far between. When I was younger, I watched a movie with my parents called "Trilogy of Terror". One of the three stories involved this doll with teeth that terrorizes a woman in her apartment. That scared the ever living fire out of me. No joke. The scene in the original "The Thing" where it gets the dogs in the cages. Hell No. The opening scene in Jaws. Where you don't see ANYTHING, but you know that naked chick is getting eaten the hell up. That's scary. Zombies. Not so scary. Zombies running fast like Jamaican sprinters? Scary.
I want to say that I would survive a scary movie. I would NOT go in the basement. Ever. If the lights go out? I'm not heading downstairs to find the fuse box in the dark. Hell no. I'll go sit in the car until sunrise. I'm not ever bringing a Ouija board in the house. Or hanging out in a graveyard pissing off spirits. If I hear a noise, I'm going the opposite direction. I'm NEVER going to ask "Who's there?". I don't ever plan on swimming in water that I can't see the bottom of. I'm not going to any yard sales or estate sales and buying any dead person's stuff. If I DO become the unfortunate target of a slasher, if I take his/her ass down, there will be NO turning my back on them to celebrate my victory. Nope. There will be a double tap to the head, followed by swift and complete getting the hell out of dodge. No sitting around gasping at how I escaped death; it's double tap and get out.
Scary movies done right make me happy. Scary movies done wrong piss me off. For example. Last night we watched this crazy movie called Blood Night, the legend of Mary Hatchet or some such. Starts out with a 12 year old kid pulling a Lizzie Borden on her mom and dad. She then gets sent to a mental institution where she is assaulted years later by one of the guards, becomes pregnant, and is told her baby died at birth. Somehow in all of this, she manages to get free and decimate the entire staff of the looney bin. Really? So. You're telling me some random chick can buzz through an entire mental hospital breaking necks with her bare hands and leaving no soul alive? Ok.... right then. It's the stuff that is SO completely not going to happen but they try to make it believable that makes me mad. Michael Myers? Freddie Krueger? Jason? We all know those dudes are so not real, and there was no attempt to make them real. We all know that there is no way you will survive a chainsaw to the head and live to kill another day. Blair Witch? Made me sick to my stomach. Paranormal Activity? I'm all for ghosts and stuff, but come on now. Saw? The first one was DAMN!! After that...well, I was kind of rooting for the bad guy. Scream? The first one was pretty damn scary.
I like scary movies that make me think. Ones that could conceivably happen. Ones that make you leap out of your seat with the "Oh HELL NO" that comes from shock and awe. Those movies. Unfortunately they are few and far between. When I was younger, I watched a movie with my parents called "Trilogy of Terror". One of the three stories involved this doll with teeth that terrorizes a woman in her apartment. That scared the ever living fire out of me. No joke. The scene in the original "The Thing" where it gets the dogs in the cages. Hell No. The opening scene in Jaws. Where you don't see ANYTHING, but you know that naked chick is getting eaten the hell up. That's scary. Zombies. Not so scary. Zombies running fast like Jamaican sprinters? Scary.
I want to say that I would survive a scary movie. I would NOT go in the basement. Ever. If the lights go out? I'm not heading downstairs to find the fuse box in the dark. Hell no. I'll go sit in the car until sunrise. I'm not ever bringing a Ouija board in the house. Or hanging out in a graveyard pissing off spirits. If I hear a noise, I'm going the opposite direction. I'm NEVER going to ask "Who's there?". I don't ever plan on swimming in water that I can't see the bottom of. I'm not going to any yard sales or estate sales and buying any dead person's stuff. If I DO become the unfortunate target of a slasher, if I take his/her ass down, there will be NO turning my back on them to celebrate my victory. Nope. There will be a double tap to the head, followed by swift and complete getting the hell out of dodge. No sitting around gasping at how I escaped death; it's double tap and get out.
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