Stand up. Sit down. And listen.

I am a Black woman.  I am a mother.  A sister.  A daughter. A wife.  But in the eyes of the world, the very first thing that I am is Black.  All over the country over the past two days has been news of the killing of Alton Sterling.  Video upon video shared for the world to see.  The thing that struck me the most, was his son.  I know there will be fingers pointed.  His entire life will be torn apart and scrutinized.  Did he have a gun?  Was he on drugs?  Did he have a record?  What did he do to provoke the officers?  I hope that all of the questions surrounding this horrible act will be answered.  One thing is clear however.  There is a 15 year old boy out there who sobbed as if his heart was broken.  He lost his father.  Not only did his father die, his father's last moments were videotaped for the entire world to see.  He saw his father subdued by the police.  He heard the six shots that went into his father's body.  He saw him laying there, in a parking lot, bleeding.  He saw him reach his hand up, and then let it fall.  He saw his father die.  Most of us won't see our parents die in front of us.  Almost none will see their parent die this way.  Whatever the outcome of the investigation, whatever charges are filed or not filed, whatever happens in this horrible situation; a boy lost his father.

I grew up in a predominantly White area of the Midwest.  There were very few Blacks at my school, and I didn't see a large and diverse population until I went to college.  There, I was accused for the first time in my life for not being Black enough.  For acting too "White".  Because I had long hair and spoke proper English.  I didn't know that was something that was solely for a certain race of people.  I have a very diverse family.  I have aunts, uncles, cousins and more that are from all shades of the rainbow.  My children are bi-racial.  And sometimes, especially on days like today, I feel a twinge of guilt about that.  Not that my children are mixed.  To me, they are the most beautiful and amazing things I have ever created.  The guilt I feel is because to the outside world, they are "Other".  You can't look at them and tell that they are Black/White.  I am constantly bombarded with questions as to what ethnicity they are.  They look more Polynesian or Latino than anything else.  My guilt is because to the world, my son doesn't look like a Black man.  My daughter doesn't look like a Black woman.  When they walk into a room, people don't look at them and stereotype them as thugs, criminals, or leeches on society like they do so many others because of their skin color.  They don't have people look at them and think the "N" word about them.  In a sense, they are lucky.  On paper they are Black, but to many in the world that may hurt them because of that, they aren't. 

My brother has a Master's degree.  He is working on his PhD.  He has traveled the world.  He is a published author.  He has taught English in France.  But he is a Black man.  I would be lying if I said I didn't worry about him.  About him walking alone at night.  About him being mistaken for someone else.  About him being in the wrong place at the wrong time. About harm coming to him strictly because of the color of his skin. 

I was raised to respect authority.  But not blind obedience.  I was raised to follow the law.  But not to ignore injustice or question that which I did not understand or that was wrong.  I was raised to trust in people.  But not to trust someone just by virtue of what uniform they may wear.  Even respecting authority and blind obedience can't always save your life.  Not if someone is determined to take it.  I have many friends that wear a badge and carry a gun.  I respect them and know that they can and will protect me.  I cannot, and will not judge all of those who wear the uniform by the actions of a few.  Then what would I be?  I would be no better than those who would judge me just by the color of my skin.  

Don't sit idly by.  It is so very easy to post on social media inflammatory statements, articles, and comments.  To share and re-share, post and re-post the ugliness in the world.  Get out there and DO something.  It starts with One.  One person.  One idea.  One movement.  One change.  This is copied from a post to show ideas on how to be that One:

What you can do right now to combat this in your own community. 

1. Know Your Rights: If there is a law school in your area, they typically hold free community events on everything from gun laws, eviction and housing policy, as well as law enforcement. If not, contact the ACLU who can assist in providing you with this info for free.

2. Register to vote: Elections have consequences. Too many times those most affected sit out of midterm and local elections. Policing policy is not set at the presidential level but at the state and city level. 

3. Serve on a Jury when called upon: What folks fail to understand is that in most locals, the jury pool is picked from those who have registered to vote. When only certain folks vote...only those folks are represented not just in elections, but jury pools.

4. Support your Legal Defense funds: Some of the big names are the ACLU, NAACP and the Urban League. There are also local defense funds specific to your city which assist folks who need legal representation but cannot afford it. These groups also hold elected officials accountable 

5. Contact your local leaders: It's important that your leaders understand that you are there and that you're voting. 

6. Report Any Act of Harassment: I know quite a few folks who have had unfortunate encounters with police yet never reported it. It's important that every incident is reported. Also feel free to report to internal affairs of you feel the harassment is targeted. 

7. Attend Local Police/Community Events (i.e. Coffee with the Constable, HOA meeting when law enforcement are present, etc): It's yet another opportunity for you to be heard

8. Organize / Volunteer: work with others in your community to accomplish items 1-6. You can do this by supporting initiatives to register folks to vote in non-presidential elections, help with childcare for someone who needs to serve on a jury, hold rallies against draconian policing policies, work with school boards (or serve on one) to help end zero-tolerance policies. Bridge and build with other communities such as other people of color, religious minority groups, and the LGBT community.

Don't let what is going on in the world make you think that you can't make a difference.  Reach out and stand together, rather than apart.  Find common ground rather than differences.  Know that there is good in the world, not just evil.  Don't believe everything you read, or hear, or see.  Don't follow blindly.  Make sure you have the facts.  Be educated.  And above all else, be Kind.