Sadness and hope....

The events of November 9th changed all Americans just a little.  The day of the presidential election dawned, and I don't think anyone could have ever expected exactly what was to play out.  It was like a comedy, a drama, a horror film and science fiction all rolled into one.  Donald Trump, a billionaire reality tv star was elected President of the United States.  People cheered, they jeered, they cried, they laughed, and they knew that the America we live in was going to change forever.

There has been so much in the news, on social media, hell everywhere about Trump and people's reactions to him winning.  So much hate filled speech, name calling, trolling and out and out hatred has bled into the very fabric of our every day lives since election day, and it has broken up friendships, alienated neighbors, and caused people to question some of the very things they hold dear.  I have limited my social media access because of it.  My emotions are too raw, the anxiety too high and for my own emotional health and wellbeing I have had to take a step back.  I have hid posts from people I thought were my friends.  I have seen people say things that I never in a million years thought they would say.  My naïveté has definitely come to the front of the stage here.  I believed in people.  I believed that the people I surrounded myself with were good.  Now I question some of them.  I question whether they are genuine.  I question whether they are the kind of people to have a hood hanging in the back of the closet when they greet me at the door with a smile on their faces.

Am I happy Trump won the election?  No.  I've never been quiet on my opinion of that.  Did I think Clinton was the perfect candidate?  No.  Not by any stretch of the imagination.  I think the DNC rushed her in and tried to force feed her to America and they did not want that.  They didn't want HER.  It wasn't the fact that they weren't ready for a woman president, they weren't ready for HER.

In the days since the election a lot has been said about people "getting over it".  It's not that simple.  It's like going through the stages of grief.  It's okay to feel sadness and disappointment.  It's okay to be angry.  It's not okay to riot and destroy property.  It's not okay to hurt people.  It's not okay to make people feel bad or call them names.  None of those things are okay because things didn't turn out out the way you didn't wan them to.

But I am sick and tired of being marginalized.  I'm done with that.  The saying "A drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts" has gone through my head over and over again the last couple of days.  I have been more hurt by people trying to marginalize my feelings than I ever though possible.  You see, being Black means we are marginalized every. Single. Day. Of. Our. Lives. Period.  I have White friends.  I have White family.  I have LGBTQ and Special Needs friends and family.  I have my own rainbow coalition so to speak. When Obama won either time, I never ever told anyone "get over it".  Not once.  I understand the frustration with the current administration.  I understand the hopelessness and the helplessness that people feel and they wanted a CHANGE.  Trump will hopefully give them the change that they so desperately want.  The problem is that there is this insidious behavior that has been under so many people's coats every day that is now being allowed to seep out.  Like Carbon Monoxide gas, it's odorless, colorless and deadly.

Racist things are so much a part of my every day life that it's hard to have a single day go by without someone saying something that they wouldn't say to a member of ANY other race.  When people ask if my hair is real? Would you ask a White person that?  Or "What are you?"  Again, the same question.  Or they question my voice on the phone; like it's a huge anomaly for someone Black to speak well and have good diction.  Or sayings like "You're the Whitest Black person I know".  Yep.  Same goes.  So many things slip out of peoples mouths and they get brushed off, laughed off and glossed over.  That is what makes people think that they can treat others the way they wouldn't treat anyone else.

Trump needs to come out and condemn all of this.  Because let's be honest, there were riots when Obama was elected.  Black baby dolls hung from trees.  I lost count of the number of times Nigger was posted on social media.  Kind of like Trump is being called a racist, misogynistic homophobe.  Everyone is up in arms defending him, yet so many of the people that are defending him now were the ones that condemned Obama 4 and 8 years ago.  You can't speak out of both sides of your mouth.

Do I think that everyone that voted for Trump is racist?  Homophobic? Misogynistic?  No.  Some of the people I respect and love very much voted for him.  The way they voted doesn't change my view of them as a person.  I still love them.  I can't "un love" someone based on their political opinions.  They voted the way they did because they wanted a change.  They believed that this country needed something different.  Someone different to lead us.  I have to respect that.  Because had the shoe been on the other foot, I would have wanted them to respect me too.

But what I can do is condemn the actions of people who think that this election is giving them the freedom to act in a way that they never would have before.  A friend of mine's 9 year old son came home from school crying the other day, saying that another child in his class told him that "All of his black friends were getting sent back to slavery".  That is NOT FUCKING OKAY.  Not at all.  And don't try to sit and placate me and tell me that those kinds of things would have been said had ANYONE else won the election.  Because if you do, I'll call bullshit.  I'll call bullshit over and over and over again.

Peaceful protest is a right.  It is a right of ALL Americans.  It is a right that our military fought and died to protect.  Flag burning is not a right.  Rioting is not a right.  Freedom of speech is a right.  But being hateful and scaring the shit out of people? That may be your right but it's WRONG.   I wake up every day being Black.  My kids are biracial and to the uneducated or unknowing eye they look Latino.  I've literally cried myself to sleep the last 3 nights thinking of how there are targets painted on ALL three of us now.  Oh, they were there before, but now they're in neon paint.  I had someone tell me that I was overreacting.  Really?  It's easy to say that when you're White with a White spouse and White children.  Because the fact of the matter is, nothing you ever do in your entire life will ever put you in the position of being Black.  Not ever.  We may have shared experiences, but they will always be colored with a different brush.

This country is in upheaval. It needs to be healed.  It needs for people to come together in understanding.  It needs for people to stand together.  It needs for everyone to condemn this behavior that will divide us all.  We have a new President.  We need him to do what he said he would. We need him to succeed.  We need him to make our country better.  But what he CAN'T do is make US better. Only way can do that.  Only we can stop posting inflammatory comments and baiting people.  Only we can stop oppression and the destruction of the lives of other people.  Only we can stand in solidarity and let those who commit these acts know that it is not okay.  That we will NOT look the other way.  That we will treat EVERYONE the way we want to be treated, no matter their race, creed, color or sexual orientation.  That we will protect each other from those who want to do us harm.  Because if we don't, the very enemy we fear will be ourselves.  If we can't come together and show our strength, that is perceived as weakness to those outside who want to hurt us.  Because a fractured country is far weaker than one that is solid.






Comments

Popular posts from this blog

The end result is worth the struggle, or how it feels to be on the verge of an empty nest.

Family FIRST, and life changing events...

It's more than just a robot-Part 2