The highs, lows, angst and joy of job change
When you start a new job, it takes a while to get acclimated. You have to find out where everything is, learn the written and unwritten rules and it often takes a while to settle in. Oftentimes that transition is a lot easier if you join a company or office that you already have friends at. It makes things a bit easier, because you have that relationship with them that exists outside the workplace. And after you've been there for a while, you make new friends. You end up spending more time with them than you do with your own family in some cases. These are the people you talk to, day in and day out, and they carve out a very important space in your life. Of course it's hard to have those feelings about EVERYONE you work with, because let's face it, most offices/teams/organizations have "that guy" or "that girl" that is a pain in the ass to work with and at the end of the day you escape from their presence like a Little Tykes wagon full of possessed dolls was on your heels. Your work family becomes your tribe. They see you when you're up and when you're down. You rely on each other and in many cases, develop your own culture that "outsiders" can't understand.
But what happens when you leave? Or when you're left? What happens when that favorite coworker, supervisor or even friend is no longer there? I'm not talking involuntarily, I'm talking they (or you) chose to leave. I've had people I've worked with over the years leave and they couldn't get out the door fast enough in my opinion. But others? It's almost like a sense of betrayal. Especially if they are the reason you took a job there in the first place. You want them to be happy, but at the same time you feel a sense of abandonment. You applaud their success while simultaneously wondering in the back of your mind what now?
You say you'll stay friends (if the relationship was like that) and swear to keep in touch. But the reality of that is often false. You move on to new work friends and leave the old ones behind. You learn a new culture that your old one doesn't understand. You lose that commonality of talking about your job, the crappy lunchroom food, how the copier always jams and that one girl who always wears too much perfume. You feel like an outsider when you go back and visit, because when you were there you felt irreplaceable, but you find out you're not. There are new faces, new cliques and inside jokes you don't understand. You see pictures of them doing things you used to be included in, now filled with the faces of those who replaced you. Whether you're the leaver or the leavee, once that bell is rung it can never be undone.
Eventually you start the cycle over again. You find a new place. Make new friends. Learn a new culture. But you never forget certain people. The ones that inspired you. The ones that made a difference. The ones you wanted to emulate. But with those memories come a tinge of sadness. Because when it comes to your job/partnership/team, once that bond is broken it can never be as it was.
But what happens when you leave? Or when you're left? What happens when that favorite coworker, supervisor or even friend is no longer there? I'm not talking involuntarily, I'm talking they (or you) chose to leave. I've had people I've worked with over the years leave and they couldn't get out the door fast enough in my opinion. But others? It's almost like a sense of betrayal. Especially if they are the reason you took a job there in the first place. You want them to be happy, but at the same time you feel a sense of abandonment. You applaud their success while simultaneously wondering in the back of your mind what now?
You say you'll stay friends (if the relationship was like that) and swear to keep in touch. But the reality of that is often false. You move on to new work friends and leave the old ones behind. You learn a new culture that your old one doesn't understand. You lose that commonality of talking about your job, the crappy lunchroom food, how the copier always jams and that one girl who always wears too much perfume. You feel like an outsider when you go back and visit, because when you were there you felt irreplaceable, but you find out you're not. There are new faces, new cliques and inside jokes you don't understand. You see pictures of them doing things you used to be included in, now filled with the faces of those who replaced you. Whether you're the leaver or the leavee, once that bell is rung it can never be undone.
Eventually you start the cycle over again. You find a new place. Make new friends. Learn a new culture. But you never forget certain people. The ones that inspired you. The ones that made a difference. The ones you wanted to emulate. But with those memories come a tinge of sadness. Because when it comes to your job/partnership/team, once that bond is broken it can never be as it was.
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