You're (blank) for a Black Girl...
With all of the racial tension so prevalent in the world today I had to sit and ask myself. What the hell? What are we going to do about it? How do we fix it? How do we change it?
The simple answer is, I don't know. I know what I was taught in my home. I know what my mother and my grandmother and great grandmother taught me. I know what I taught my children. I remember the stories that I was told by my elders growing up. The stories of segregation and fear. The stories of being treated "less". Of having to work harder to be better to overcome.
A very good friend of mine posted something on Facebook that resonated with me. Because she's 100% right. I have endured years and years of "microaggressions" and back handed comments because I'm (blank) for a black girl.
My name is Melissa. Non-threatening. It's a White girl name. My co-worker, whom I love dearly has the name Duwana. She's White. Every single day someone that is new to our practice automatically assumes that I'm Duwana. Because that's a "Black Girl Name". I grew up in a predominately White town in Central Illinois. I didn't have a Black teacher until Junior High. And he was my PE Teacher. He was the only Black teacher I had throughout my public school years.
I went to Illinois State University and was considered a "safe" Black girl. I "talked white". Therefore I wasn't one of those Black girls that was loud and confrontational and made people uncomfortable. I have "White" hair. Not braids. Not kinky curls. I'm lighter skinned. Not dark. I have to be a chameleon at all times. I have to know when to "act White" and when it's ok to "act Black". I can't "act Black" and be professional at the same time. That's not allowed. I cannot tell you how many times people have asked me, "What are you?" "Are both your parents black?" "Are you all the way black?"
A lot of my non POC friends have come to me and asked me what I think of everything. Honestly? I'm sick of being nice. I'm sick of trying to explain away everything and everybody's bad behavior. I'm sick of having to try to justify my feelings and justify why I believe things need to change. It is not just about a statue. It is not just about a bunch of J.Crew wearing Tiki torch burning idiots. It is not just about the boycott of the NFL. What it is about? Is about years and years and years of being told that you are wrong. That you don't matter as much as people you consider to be your peers. That you have to work harder. That you have to act white in order to be successful unless you are an athlete or a musician. That nobody will ever treat you the same as non people of color. That slavery should be left in the past. That it doesn't matter now because it happened so long ago and that nobody that we know owned slaves. That the flag is just a symbol of history and that there's no reason that anybody should be offended by it. Imagine being told every single day that the things that define your heritage don't matter. That they're not important enough to fight over.
The simple answer is, I don't know. I know what I was taught in my home. I know what my mother and my grandmother and great grandmother taught me. I know what I taught my children. I remember the stories that I was told by my elders growing up. The stories of segregation and fear. The stories of being treated "less". Of having to work harder to be better to overcome.
A very good friend of mine posted something on Facebook that resonated with me. Because she's 100% right. I have endured years and years of "microaggressions" and back handed comments because I'm (blank) for a black girl.
My name is Melissa. Non-threatening. It's a White girl name. My co-worker, whom I love dearly has the name Duwana. She's White. Every single day someone that is new to our practice automatically assumes that I'm Duwana. Because that's a "Black Girl Name". I grew up in a predominately White town in Central Illinois. I didn't have a Black teacher until Junior High. And he was my PE Teacher. He was the only Black teacher I had throughout my public school years.
I went to Illinois State University and was considered a "safe" Black girl. I "talked white". Therefore I wasn't one of those Black girls that was loud and confrontational and made people uncomfortable. I have "White" hair. Not braids. Not kinky curls. I'm lighter skinned. Not dark. I have to be a chameleon at all times. I have to know when to "act White" and when it's ok to "act Black". I can't "act Black" and be professional at the same time. That's not allowed. I cannot tell you how many times people have asked me, "What are you?" "Are both your parents black?" "Are you all the way black?"
A lot of my non POC friends have come to me and asked me what I think of everything. Honestly? I'm sick of being nice. I'm sick of trying to explain away everything and everybody's bad behavior. I'm sick of having to try to justify my feelings and justify why I believe things need to change. It is not just about a statue. It is not just about a bunch of J.Crew wearing Tiki torch burning idiots. It is not just about the boycott of the NFL. What it is about? Is about years and years and years of being told that you are wrong. That you don't matter as much as people you consider to be your peers. That you have to work harder. That you have to act white in order to be successful unless you are an athlete or a musician. That nobody will ever treat you the same as non people of color. That slavery should be left in the past. That it doesn't matter now because it happened so long ago and that nobody that we know owned slaves. That the flag is just a symbol of history and that there's no reason that anybody should be offended by it. Imagine being told every single day that the things that define your heritage don't matter. That they're not important enough to fight over.
It's about food deserts and the fact that grocery stores charge more in poor areas than they do in wealthier ones. It's about years and years of poor nutrition because "we" were at the bottom of the totem pole and now we have generational diseases that have their roots in slavery. It's about lack of educational opportunities and quality healthcare. And so much more.
No other group has to sit back and take this shit. Nobody does. What is happening right now is the combination of years and years and years and years of frustration and anger and it is culminating into a giant Powderkeg. No the things that are going on out there are not right. No the things that are going on out there are not fair. But you know what? Every single day of my life I wake up in this brown skin and I wouldn't change it for the world. I also know that my husband, and my best friend in the world who are white, may sympathize, but they can never empathize with me. Not ever. Because at the end of the day, they do not have this brown skin. And in the eyes of the world, they will never be treated like I will.
No other group has to sit back and take this shit. Nobody does. What is happening right now is the combination of years and years and years and years of frustration and anger and it is culminating into a giant Powderkeg. No the things that are going on out there are not right. No the things that are going on out there are not fair. But you know what? Every single day of my life I wake up in this brown skin and I wouldn't change it for the world. I also know that my husband, and my best friend in the world who are white, may sympathize, but they can never empathize with me. Not ever. Because at the end of the day, they do not have this brown skin. And in the eyes of the world, they will never be treated like I will.
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