Every woman should feel beautiful.......
5 years ago, I weighed nearly 300 lbs. After weight loss surgery, a lot of hard work, and sacrificing things that I used to love, I've dropped nearly 40% of my previous weight. I still look in the mirror, however, and I see all of my flaws instead of my accomplishments. I also see the person that my ex cheated on, and the woman who is still wading through a pond full of frogs trying to find her prince.
Today, I did something that I'd never thought that I would do. My amazing friend, Amanda Pryde, does boudior photograpy and told me she'd be in town for sessions. At first I thought, No Way! I can't fathom looking sexy or beautiful given what I see in the mirror. Then I started thinking...maybe I can see myself the way other people see me.....and maybe this sort of thing will help with the self image problems that I have. People who lose a lot of weight often have what's called "Body Dysmorphic Disorder", and they have a completely different image of what they look like than they actually do. When I look in the mirror I see someone who is passably pretty, who can clean up well, but I don't see someone that is beautiful, seductive, or sexy.
When I got to the shoot today I was very nervous. I still couldn't believe that I'd signed up to do it. Once I got there, however, the atmosphere was so relaxing and the laughter was so infectious that I had no choice but to loosen up. Krista, the amazing make up artist, did my face and brought out the beautiful butterfly. We sat and chatted the entire time, and she made me feel so warm and welcome.
Then, it was time for the photos. We started out very demure, as I'd brought a book with me to go with a "sexy librarian" theme. Amanda got me to loosen up and I had more fun than I ever thought I could have. Photos standing next to a window, in repose on a setee, laying on the bed....all were done with no pressure. I did photos standing, sitting, leaning...up close and personal...with nothing to hide. We did sexy shots, seductive shots, innocent shots, and shots filled with laughter.
Most of the ladies who were there today had stories about horrible ex husbands, and how their self esteem faltered when their marriages ended. Having someone cheat on you changes you at your most basic level, and makes you question your beauty, your intelligence, and your appeal. Being thrown back into the dating world isn't easy. You have this wall built up that you don't want to let anyone past, because you're afraid of getting hurt again.
Every woman should feel beautiful. Every woman should see themselves through the eyes of someone else. It doesn't matter if you weigh 85 pounds or 385 pounds, there is something about being confident that is beautiful in itself. If you are happy with yourself, it doesn't matter what size you are. I actually felt that today. I felt beautiful, and sexy, and amazing. I can't wait to see the final product.....even though these are pictures that were taken only for me....I am fascinated with the thought that I could look like I felt....
Today, I did something that I'd never thought that I would do. My amazing friend, Amanda Pryde, does boudior photograpy and told me she'd be in town for sessions. At first I thought, No Way! I can't fathom looking sexy or beautiful given what I see in the mirror. Then I started thinking...maybe I can see myself the way other people see me.....and maybe this sort of thing will help with the self image problems that I have. People who lose a lot of weight often have what's called "Body Dysmorphic Disorder", and they have a completely different image of what they look like than they actually do. When I look in the mirror I see someone who is passably pretty, who can clean up well, but I don't see someone that is beautiful, seductive, or sexy.
When I got to the shoot today I was very nervous. I still couldn't believe that I'd signed up to do it. Once I got there, however, the atmosphere was so relaxing and the laughter was so infectious that I had no choice but to loosen up. Krista, the amazing make up artist, did my face and brought out the beautiful butterfly. We sat and chatted the entire time, and she made me feel so warm and welcome.
Then, it was time for the photos. We started out very demure, as I'd brought a book with me to go with a "sexy librarian" theme. Amanda got me to loosen up and I had more fun than I ever thought I could have. Photos standing next to a window, in repose on a setee, laying on the bed....all were done with no pressure. I did photos standing, sitting, leaning...up close and personal...with nothing to hide. We did sexy shots, seductive shots, innocent shots, and shots filled with laughter.
Most of the ladies who were there today had stories about horrible ex husbands, and how their self esteem faltered when their marriages ended. Having someone cheat on you changes you at your most basic level, and makes you question your beauty, your intelligence, and your appeal. Being thrown back into the dating world isn't easy. You have this wall built up that you don't want to let anyone past, because you're afraid of getting hurt again.
Every woman should feel beautiful. Every woman should see themselves through the eyes of someone else. It doesn't matter if you weigh 85 pounds or 385 pounds, there is something about being confident that is beautiful in itself. If you are happy with yourself, it doesn't matter what size you are. I actually felt that today. I felt beautiful, and sexy, and amazing. I can't wait to see the final product.....even though these are pictures that were taken only for me....I am fascinated with the thought that I could look like I felt....
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