The random misadventures of a (formerly)Single Super Mom

Today was just "one of those days".  You know the days where nothing makes sense?  The days where you ask the universal question of "why?".  Today was the funeral of the father of a friend of mine.  He was diagnosed with cancer of the brain just a few short months ago.  Why does it happen so fast sometimes?  Why did someone so young have to go?  Why is this wonderful man not here anymore to see his grandbaby girls grow up?  To hold them?  To tell his wife that he loves her?  To tell his daughter that he loves her?  Why does it strike some, and miss others?  I don't understand it.  I really don't.  Also, today was the "closure" of an ache that has been in my heart for a long time.  3 years ago, a friend of mine and her baby girl were on their way to church one Saturday night. Unbeknownst to them, 2 cars decided to drag race at speeds of over 80 miles an hour, and her car was hit.  She and her daughter wer...

Sometimes it sucks being a woman.  It really does.  The decisions we make are scrutinized to the nth degree, and no matter what we do, someone takes issue with it.  Stay at home moms versus working moms.  Moms who choose to circumcise their children and moms who don't.  Moms who choose to vaccinate and moms who don't.  And moms who choose to breastfeed and moms who don't.  It's sometimes all out war; and not between the sexes.  It's between ourselves.  I sometimes think that we do more to undermine all of the rights that we have than anyone else does.  As I was reading this article http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/48447825/ns/today-today_health/t/new-yorks-pro-breastfeeding-stance-draws-criticism/ , the positions of people blow my mind.  How is the mayor, a man, going to propose legislation that formula be treated as a medication in hospitals and therefore must meet a medical need before being dispensed?  I am a fierce proponent...

As our country competes in the Olympic games, there have been stories of triumph, of tragedy, of overcoming adversity, and of not living up to expectations.  However, I never in my life expected to read a story about a teenage girl's hair.  Gabby Douglas is an amazing athlete.  She's in a place that millions of little girls in leotards dream of being some day.  She's got a mother who sacrificed more than many parents will ever know, in order to fulfill the dreams of her daughter.  And she's being criticized over her hair.  Really?  Really.  Being a Black woman with a dubious ancestry, I've had to answer a million questions about my hair. My parents are black.  My grandparents are black.  My great-grandparents were black.  Somehow through the genetic mish mosh of Spanish, French, African, Native American, and Caucasian that is in my DNA, I don't have typically "black" hair.  I get asked all the time.."what are you?".  "Wh...

When I was 17, I told my mom that I was NEVER having kids.  There was no way in heck that I was going to saddle myself with those little buggers.  I had plans, you see.  I was going to be a Marine Biologist and go train killer whales at Sea World.  Well, you see how THAT worked out for me.  When my former husband and I decided to start a family, it took us a year to conceive for the first time.  Before then, I'd never even considered the possibility that I might not be able to have children.  Every month that went by and it didn't happen, I got a little more disappointed.  When I found out I was pregnant, it was the most amazing day of my life.  A sense of joyous wonder infused every part of me, and at that moment, I knew my life would never be the same.  I got pregnant fairly quickly with my second child, and even though my marriage was ripe with strife and infidelity, I wanted that baby more than I could ever imagine.  When my m...

I went on a family vacation/trip this past weekend to see relatives on my mother's side.  We had a big family reunion in the Chicago area, complete with matching t-shirts, plenty of food, music, and out of town attendees.  As I stood amongst my relatives, I was struck by one thing.  I don't "feel" old.  I know I'm getting older, and so are they, but I don't "feel" old.  Should I?  I'll be 41 this year and I don't feel like I'm aging at all.  I looked at some of my relatives that are past the prime of their lives, and realized that the next time I may see some of them will be at a sad occasion, rather than a happy one.  I looked at my parents, who retired this year at the ages of 61 and 62, and thought, "they'll never be old".  But, they will.  And it breaks my heart.  We only have a limited number of years on this earth, and I can't imagine the world without them in it.  I also had the opportunity to see the mother of ...

Amazing Plastic?   I think not….. Everyone has one.   Most people think it’s the bane of their kitchen.   I’m talking about the Plastic Ware cabinet.   Or drawer.   Or closet.   Or wherever it is that you keep your Tupperware , Rubbermaid , or any other plastic type storage items.   I hate mine.   I honestly do.   Every so often I’ll get one of the kids (usually through bribery), to sit in the kitchen and find all of the matches.   Then we take the non-matching pieces and toss them out.   Eureka! One might say.   Nope.   Somehow, some way, it’s a short lived fix.   Somehow we find ourselves with a decided lack of containers, and then we have to go and find some more.   I had this brilliant idea to only get the Rubbermaid non-staining ones, thinking that wow, I’d finally have this really cute matching set of food storage and everything would fit!   Curses, foiled again.   When you go to a potluc...

The loss of a child is one of those things that no parent wants to think about.  My grandmother once told me that children should always outlive their parents; that it was the natural order of things.  My grandmother had to bury one of her children, my uncle Roger Pierce, who passed away from injuries suffered in a motorcycle accident when I was younger.  I'll never ever forget the pain I saw in her eyes, and the eyes of my mom and her siblings.  Today, someone I know had to make the decision to let their little one go.  Gabriel was 6 years old and fought a brave battle with illness, and his little body couldn't fight the fight any longer.  As a mother, nothing scares me more than the thought of losing my children.  It's something that if I even consider, my stomach knots up and I begin to panic.  I know that death is a natural part of life, but I want to go first.  I don't want to have to lose one of them before I go.  I work in the hea...

Everyone has that person that they wish Karma would come and smack upside the head.  With a chair.  Followed by an uppercut with a cast iron skillet.  You always "wish bad things happened to bad people" because it seems like the good people always get the short end of the stick.  However, what happens when something bad actually DOES happen to someone bad?  Or at least, the person in question is bad in your eyes.  What if they've done so many things to wrong you, profited off of your misery, and thrived while you've suffered.....and then something comes along to finally knock them off of their high horse?  Is it an un-Christian feeling when you try to find a bit of sympathy for them...yet you can't do it at all?  I find myself in one of those situations and try as I might, I can't muster up a single solitary reason to feel sorry for this person.  I just can't.  I prayed about it, but I just can't feel any sympathy or empathy for this ind...

5 years ago, I weighed nearly 300 lbs.  After weight loss surgery, a lot of hard work, and sacrificing things that I used to love, I've dropped nearly 40% of my previous weight.  I still look in the mirror, however, and I see all of my flaws instead of my accomplishments.  I also see the person that my ex cheated on, and the woman who is still wading through a pond full of frogs trying to find her prince.  Today, I did something that I'd never thought that I would do.  My amazing friend, Amanda Pryde, does boudior photograpy and told me she'd be in town for sessions.  At first I thought, No Way!  I can't fathom looking sexy or beautiful given what I see in the mirror.  Then I started thinking...maybe I can see myself the way other people see me.....and maybe this sort of thing will help with the self image problems that I have.  People who lose a lot of weight often have what's called "Body Dysmorphic Disorder", and they have a completely d...